I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
