Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
