And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just found puke in my bra..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
