Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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