white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
