It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
