Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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