some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize