How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
