my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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