This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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