Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
