would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
