he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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