I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
