Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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