I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
