I think scott just propositioned me for sex
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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