she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
