you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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