i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
