Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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