my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
