my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
