yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
