Having a random hookup so left but love u
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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