I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you never un-have a 4some
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
