I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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