I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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