saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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