She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
