Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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