You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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