bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize