New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
