I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
