Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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