who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
