why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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