WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
