Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
