my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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