Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
