i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
