So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
