Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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