You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Randomize
