Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
