Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
