Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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