why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
