He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
