I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
