smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
