theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
