His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
