Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
