Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
